interview failure

im not sure if i deliberately sabotaging myself cause im not ready for change or if im just not really good in interviews..

anyway the interview was not good.. to put it nicely.. and unfortunately or fortunately im not really depressed about it..

i was expecting questions about my growth my strengths my weaknesses.. but syempre hindi yun yung tinanong.. darn.. what was even more frustrating is that i subconsciously expected these questions..

for one he asked me what kind of products do we offer premier clients.. which i totally dont have any clue.. however when i learned that i was going to have an interview for this particular position i was really going to browse the web for hsbc products.. but got side tracked and completely forgot about it.

and then the next was what i think does the job entails.. dumb dumb.. anybody interested in applying should have known that.. syempre i was going to look for the "ad" for the position to know the qualifications pero got side tracked again by a leaving ex boss..

darn kainis pambihira.. anyway got over it na din.. cant do anything about it but learn to be prepared next time.. listen to my instinct and be prepared.. : (

two steps forward and one step back

tomorrow im going to have my first interview in almost 1 1/2 half year.. im terrified.. i hate interviews and i hate it that im this terrified.. Might as well make the most out of this..

nothing to lose naman..

either way its gonna be a good practice for me. so win-win situation.

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i just wanna say. people are suckers for telenovela because they could see that other people have worse problems than they have and still come out of triumphant in the end..

paranoid applicant

after days/weeks/months of contemplating i finally submitted my first application for another job.. its a step. i actually applied internally.. im not sure if i like the job but its the best thing there is now.

anyway what i thought to be a "quiet" application wherein only my boss would know ended up being a team issue.. i feel terrible because i think my team mates felt "betrayed" or something dahil hindi ko sinabi sa kanila that i was planning on applying in other department. well i have my reasons.. mainly they were the ones holding me back from applying (unintentionally) and it would be stupid for me to talk about my application with them because of this..

right now i would have to stand up for my decision whether i get in or not. akala ko kasi i would have to deal with my teammates IF ever i get an interview. but i guess not anymore

reading reflecting reacting

Just bought a book today.. hhe my mom was surprised that my bill went up to 1000 since i only bought one teensy little book and two mags.

anyway.. i hope the book's worth it - The Comfort Trap or What If You're Riding a Dead Horse.

bought it after reading this line from the first page.. "It's difficult because, however unsatisfying it is where we are, it is also comfortable."

Your comfort trap is the familiar tolerable but unsatisfying situation you've created in your life.

hmm familiar?

extended weekend

ive been rambling about not wanting to go to work on monday.. kaya ayun here iam middle of the week in my pj getting bored and sleepy... got a little fever and my parents wanted me to rest for three whole days.. hhe sarap sana kung hindi ako kakatayin ng teammates ko bukas lol

anyway some of them texts naman to know if im still breathing so i guess they are not all angry: )

im super bored.. been watching dvds and tv shows for a day is causing severe brain damage.. i need to talk to people wah... ayaw pa kasi ako papasukin ng parents ko.. i know bka mabinat or something but i wont deliberately put myself in the rain right? anyway they got their way so i have another day all to myself..