today is my first official non -HSBC employee day..
i really didnt wanted to wake up its not like a saturday where in i can sleep a little later than usual and feel secure cause i have a job waiting for me.. i felt lost. i didnt know what i am supposed to do now that i dont have HSBC.. it was different after graduation since then i know im supposed to be looking for a job.. the pressure of finding a job was there but unlike now.. i feel that im getting pressured and not getting pressured at the same time..
i can swallow my pride and go back to hsbc which would be STUPID.. or i can stand by my decision and be clueless for a while which would be STUPID.. or i can ask my parent's help/advice which would also be STUPID maybe not really stupid but awkward..
i dont know what im looking for and what i want and what i am capable of doing.. i feel that i dont know anything at all.. which is frustrating because i feel like im back at square 1..
hsbc was an escape.. from responsibilities, obligations and constant nag of my parents.. it was an extended part of my comfort zone which i never really left.. and now im lost.. i cant go back and i dont know how to move forward.. i am most certainly not staying put.. then where am i gonna go?
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2 comments:
you're not in square one, you learned lots when you got in hsbc. intagibles sure, but still the experiences are valuable. and it's a good addition to the resume.
exposure is exposure. at least we're not as green as the new grads? hehe. as for valuable knowledge and skills learned, i have yet to evaluate myself too (''*) on one hand, it's an escape. but not from responsibilities...you are not responsible for your parents (yet). I think it's an escape from the nest. To leave home is to get away from comfort zone ya? well, you could argue it the other way 'round too... but since there's no way but forward, whenever you're ready. for now, take a break and recharge :o)
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